I say I believe but I'm losing hope.
I say I love but deep inside I'm full of hatred.

What's worse to this? Everything...
I'm tired. I just want to have peace.
I'm broken and I will never be fixed.
Because world made it clear that I should not be happy; I don't deserve it.

What's the point? Nobody cares, really. Who would want to?
I'm not normal. I'm lost and I want to be found. By who?
I don't know.
Just... Someone who would care.

But no. No one would.

B-R-O-K-E-N

Save Me

If there is anything to believe, what would be it?

Aren't you tired yet? Tired of all the lies and betrayals and just wanted to know the truth?

Haven't you been hurt that you just wanted to kill yourself instead of facing it? Because it's hard... Because there's nothing you could do to solve it. And you know it will be tough. That no matter what you do, it will only just be worse.

Or is it just me? Me, my stupid self, trying to fight alone in this imperfect world. I just want to disappear. Or do I? I don't know.

I say I want to be happy but I'm scared. Scared of what tomorrow can do.

I just want to end the story of my life here. I'm afraid that if I continue it, I would find out that I didn't succeed. That this life I'm currently living on, would remain forever. And I'm just tired. Real tired of facing life's unfortunate fates. That I just want to sleep forever surrounded by darkness. Of which I call peace.

JLS? ♥

Is it possible to be in love at second sight? Because I think it happened to me just two days ago.

When I was on my way home, I saw a familiar face in the jeep I'm currently riding. And I realized, it was a guy who's also in my school. So there, we just sat beside each other. Me, texting; him listening to music. And through my peripheral view, I can vaguely see that he's trying to read what I type on my phone. At first, I was really texting my friends but when I'm sure that he's really peeking, I switched on the notepad and started typing something like, "This dude's really creepy." And when I try to look his way, he looks the other way.

Every now and then I can sense him looking but I just ignored it. So when I reached my destination, I shouted "Para po." but I don't think it's enough since the driver didn't hear me. And so the jeep passed maybe around ten meters from where I was supposed to go down. Awww... If you only knew. It's very irritating since I'm very tired that day. Having to go to the mall all by myself buying books. And I'm carrying nine books that time. See? I'm such a nerd. -_-

So the guy beside me shouted, "Para pu kano." And when the driver still didn't hear him, he tapped the roof of the jeep loud. Just enough for the jeep to screech in a halt.

And OMG. I can feel my heart banging loudly against my chest and if only I'm white, I assure you that I would look like a tomato that time. And I'm glad I'm not white. So what I did out of embarrassment, I climbed out of the jeep quickly without even waiting for it to stop completely.

And since that day... I can't help thinking about the guy who was sitting beside me in the jeepney. And I hope to see him soon. Maybe in the same jeepney or in our school.

And I hope he really does... well, uh... know me.